Burdensome Drum

Kandice Carrera, Writer

The drums are so draining, they’re heavy, lifeless, and overall a pain to carry. I don’t mind it though, as I lifted the drum from the shelf, my arm curved around the pads and set into place, hurrying to get it over with, it’s heavier this time. I felt a sense of Monachopsis, cold, with an unbarring reminder of history.  The specs of dirt on the white covering of the bass drum set me off, the sensation felt immoral and different, outcasted from the rest. As I placed the drum on the ground, a thud came out. I’m not ready yet. The members were already set up outside and I could hear the faint booming and smacking sounds of the drum.  Even the sounds had a sensitivity of desolation and rejection. I’m not as good as them, I’m new, fresh, a mortal newborn to this music world which I joined for the reason to feel accepted, to feel something other than discontent. I grasped the sticks made from fine wood composed in an upward way looking rather bloated. I’m not ready yet. I connected my harness to the ends of the bass drum, the support to help carry the drum while performing is deadly needed. Pain excels through my muscles as I placed the drum on me, a connection I can’t get rid of now. I’m just not ready yet, as I collected my music and left my mallets on top of the drum, I hurried out for rehearsal. The sonder trees brushed and fought one another while perfecting every move in an aesthetically pleasing way, everyone was standing around in a curved circle. “What took you so long? You’re never late!” Katie yelled. “I’m sorry, I’ve just been in an off mood lately.” I spilled out. She looked at me with glazed eyes, her lips fixed into place trying to say something but immediately changed her mind. Katie doesn’t like it when people make mistakes, she’s harsh more than she needs to be sometimes. Marcus and Deigo were messing around, as usual, Hannah was going over music sheets and Nathen and Rachel were playing their exercises. As I began to set up I noticed Sarah wasn’t there. There are usually eight of us.  “Has Sarah shown up at all yet?” I asked, Katie hesitated then answered. “I don’t know, I haven’t seen her…No one has.” Silence filled deep within us and the earth. I seem detached from them all as if watching from afar or just not there physically. It all feels so wrong. A rush of confusion hit me. I haven’t noticed how everyone quickly becomes uncomfortable with our conversation. “She’s missing…isn’t she?” A voice spoke like a whisper among the trees. Thankfully Katie switched the topic as soon as she realized and started our rehearsal. The moon shined bright in the sky as we warped up our equipment and headed back inside the drum room. The moon seemed so full and heavy. Then just like that rehearsal was over, I rushed back inside to pack up and store my drum away, I quickly pushed the drum up the shelf hoping it wouldn’t fall like last time. As everyone began to leave I stayed behind to clean up the leftover trash and to adjust our equipment. The chatter drowned out my thoughts until it was just Hannah and Katie left, before they left, Hannah spoke with a sort of aversion, “Can you figure where that smell is coming from? I know we used to have rodents but this time is different.” “It’s probably some rotting mold, I’ll get to it.”  “If you say so, see ya later.” Hannah walked out while Katie waited outside and the chatter returned, echoing from the hall. I dusted the lockers and swept out and cleansed the desks. I felt out of breath, I checked the time and it stated 9:46 pm. I was tired, drained from energy and life. Suddenly I slipped on a music sheet and hit against the drum shelf and as I did the drums came crashing down. A gust of disbelief and irrational thinking struck me, while the pain filled my head. “Shoot! I’m such an idiot!” I howled as if this was a matter of life or death. As I stood back up, stumbling and staggered, that’s when I noticed it. My legs felt weak, the uncontrollable feeling came back, my blood started deteriorating and rushing as I felt the heat travel to my head. The drum broke into halves and cracks which is how I saw her. Her lifeless body inside the drum dried up and crippled. However, as I looked over the other drums, there were more bodies, I felt myself inch back into reality, drums were never supposed to be that heavy.